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Skipping ahead a few days to yesterday’s word, which was the 14th of this Lent practice: creativity.
This evening while she practiced violin, my daughter said maybe she’d like to be a “music writer” when she grows up. I pointed out that she already is; she makes up songs all the time. She agreed, but maintained that she means professionally. We will have to introduce her to some of the composers we know, some of whom she knows already too. She asked me for that music notebook we have, and as she paused to think, I took this photo.
Today’s word: fear.
A couple of years ago, I slipped going down these stairs and whacked my back, hard. The spasms and bruises that followed had me in agony for days. I was back to normal within a couple of months, but the memory of that incident whispers in my ear almost every time I go down the stairs.
Is fear always the memory of pain? What do you think?
It was already past 7:00 and well past the time to make dinner, but my daughter and I paused for a minute to watch the patterns cast on the dashboard by a rainy windshield.
How often I suppress my curiosity because there’s “something else to do.” A minute wasn’t long enough for either of us to discover what the rain had to show us.
K. L. Allendoerfer at A Thousand Finds is also undertaking this practice, in a relaxed way that I will try to emulate. Lovely!
Today’s word: quiet. Just behind me as I took this photo was a road circling Lake Tahoe, and behind that was the bustle of the family camp I’m enjoying this weekend. The trees, snow and moon seemed to exude a quiet that blanketed all of that.
I was just wondering whether I should have a Lenten practice this year, when the UUWorld popped up in my e-mail inbox with an article about #UULent, a photo-a-day practice. Something I know about myself is that 47 straight days of anything is very challenging (Lent practices of privation skip Sundays, but this practice continues through Sundays, with a twist). However, if I only hit 30 out of 47, that will be 30 days of attention to a spiritual matter.
Today’s word is mindfulness, and the internal process that occurred when I saw this outside a restaurant window today exemplified . I saw the light coming through these leaves and two thoughts came into my mind simultaneously:
How beautiful!
It’s a geranium, and I don’t like geraniums.
I have a category in my mind–geraniums–and a judgment about it–I don’t think they’re beautiful. Mindfulness allows perceptions in (“How beautiful!”) that don’t fit in my categories, and even challenge them.

So I am beginning this season with gratitude for this geranium, the sun, and the prompt from creators Mr. Barb Greve, Karen Bellavance-grace, and Alex Kapitan to consider mindfulness with my camera. I also want to express an extra thank you for giving me a gentle way out of a long dry season of blogger’s block.
If you care to join me, I’ll be posting daily on Twitter @AmyZMorgenstern (hashtags #UULent, #UUCPA) and also on Facebook–please connect there, or in the comments, and I’ll look forward to seeing your photos–whether one or 47.
Lent begins next Wednesday, and once again, despite not being Christian either by upbringing or conviction, I feel a pull to do something spiritually significant during these seven weeks. It’s important to me that it be challenging, and not primarily for my own health or well-being, but something that helps me to serve others or elevate my purpose in some way. Some practices do double duty, of course. For example, I read this morning about how some people pledge to drink only water, which is healthful for the practitioner and also has an outward focus, because they take the money they usually spend on a daily coffee or whatever drinks they prefer and give it to charity.
That one wouldn’t be enough of a stretch for me, since I mostly drink water anyway. I also already give to charity on a budget I set annually, so shifting some of it to Lent would just be taking it from the rest of the year. I think I will return to a practice I began last month and did for a couple of weeks, but want to do with more discipline: the 40 Bags in 40 Days De-Cluttering Challenge. There is a purely self-care aspect of that: I’m stressed out by the amount of stuff I have, especially papers and e-mails, and I will feel better to lose 40 “bags.” However, it’s deeper than that.
(Not actually Amy’s living room.) Credit: Shadwwulf at en.wikipedia; used by Creative Commons license.
What other spiritual aspects this practice may prove to have, I’ll know by Easter.
I took up regular walking because I needed to tend my physical self better. Most weeks, I walk five days, and usually, I’m walking around San Francisco. I took it up as exercise for the body, but it’s turned out to be an important spiritual practice too.
Walking brings things into focus that just aren’t visible from a car or bus, or even a bike. I start to wonder: why is there so much trash in the street in this neighborhood, and not in that neighborhood? Do the street cleaners skip this block sometimes? Do people just throw more stuff onto the sidewalk here? The city trash cans are often overflowing on this block–why is that?
A street planted with trees feels completely different than an otherwise identical street one block over.
The city’s many murals become intricate paintings at a walking pace. I’m in an art gallery now.
Walking creates enough small encounters to fill a Jim Jarmusch movie. One afternoon as dark was falling, I passed an apartment building and heard a woman in the stairway crying as if her heart were breaking. I paused for a long time, pulled between sympathy and respect for the privacy so hard to come by in city dwelling, unsure whether to venture up the steps and ask if she was okay. I resumed walking; my own heart stayed at that building for the rest of the evening. Another time I passed a couple standing still on the sidewalk, holding each other, eyes open, not speaking, not kissing.
Walking along the San Jose Expressway, where walking is not encouraged (the sidewalk ran out), I could peek into back yards that are a few meters from rushing traffic. Some houses predate the expressway and clearly used to have a quieter yard; others were built later than the road. One of these has a balcony; its view is four busy lanes, and I wonder whether anyone has ever sat out there.
On that walk, I discovered a pathway that meanders behind the houses for a few blocks along the expressway. I had had no idea. It was like entering a secret world. That was the kind of walk I like best: I set out in a new direction, just taking streets as the names take my fancy, allowing myself to get lost and then find my way back home. I can’t get lost for long before I come to a street with a familiar name, but I feel like an explorer anyway. One house has its Christmas tree up in the front window (it’s November 15). This whole block has a sweet, Hobbiton feel to it, and I muse a while before I figure out why: to enter a house, you pass through an archway and up a roofed set of steps. It makes everything feel cozy.
Behind these walls, people are sleeping, talking, watching television, eating, making love, worrying, reading. It seems both odd and fitting that each of these stories is playing out just feet from another one, with nothing separating them but a wall and almost complete ignorance of the other’s existence. Sometimes I think about the beings in the houses; sometimes I speak a prayer in my mind for each one, wishing them well. Other times I’m miles away, listening to the podcast that comes through the earbuds into my head. Those stories aren’t really any farther than the ones right here.
I walk a tiny circuit, a few miles of this planet, a twisted line beginning and ending at my own house, all on a bit of concrete someone poured and called the sidewalks of San Francisco. When I get to the end of my journey, I’ve traveled in more than space.
One could write a book (and I’m sure many have) on Emily Dickinson’s complex attitude toward prayer. I’m reading all of her poems in order, and the one I read today, #576, is more straightforward than many in its treatment of prayer:
I prayed, at first, a little Girl,
Because they told me to —
But stopped, when qualified to guess
How prayer would feel — to me —
If I believed God looked around,Each time my Childish eye
Fixed full, and steady, on his own
In Childish honesty —
And told him what I’d like, today,And parts of his far plan
That baffled me —
The mingled side
Of his Divinity —
And often since, in Danger,
I count the force ‘twould be
To have a God so strong as that
To hold my life for me
Till I could take the Balance
That tips so frequent, now,
It takes me all the while to poise —
And then — it doesn’t stay —
She no longer believes in the God of her childhood, but she feels the lack. It’s interesting that the way it feels to live without that strong God isn’t expressed as pain, fear, sorrow, loss, or even uncertainty, but lack of balance. Maybe this poem isn’t as straightforward as I thought at first. Dickinson has a way of doing that. Whatever poise a reader possesses, she disturbs it, almost as if she set out on purpose to do it.








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