As a Californian-by-adoption, I am sorry to say this, but I have never been able to find a soft-serve place in California that knows how to put sprinkles on a cone. I have not given up without a struggle. The resulting conversations tend to go like this.
Me: Small chocolate soft-serve on a regular cone, please. And could I have sprinkles on that?
Them: If you have it in a cup, yes.
Me: I’d like a cone and sprinkles. They’ll stick if you roll the cone in them.
Them, with an expression suggesting my sanity is in doubt: Ohhhkay. I could put them on top.
(They spoon some sprinkles over the cone. Predictably, only about ten stick.)
Them: Is this what you wanted?
Me, sighing: No, you have to roll it, but thanks.
Or:
Me: Small chocolate soft-serve on a regular cone, please. And could I have sprinkles on that?
Them: If you have it in a cup, yes.
Me: I’d like a cone and sprinkles. They’ll stick if you roll the cone in them.
Them: Here, I can give you both.
(They fill the cup with soft-serve and spoon a generous helping of sprinkles on top, then stick a cone on upside-down.)
Them: How’s that?

Me, grimacing internally: Thanks.
(I dispose of the cone at the first opportunity, because let’s admit it, they’re made of styrofoam and if unable to carry out their only purpose, which is to contain soft-serve, they might as well go straight to the compost pile.)
Or:
Me: Small chocolate soft-serve on a regular cone, please. And could I have sprinkles on that?
Them, definitely assessing me as cognitively challenged: Um . . . no, but you could have dip.
(I consider leaping over the counter and showing them how it’s done. Instead, I assent to dip.)
What I have said only once or twice, not wanting to begin a civil war, is that in the northeast, people know how to coat a cone in sprinkles. The gravity is the same in both places, so I’m sure all that is lacking in the California shops is confidence and know-how. As a result, our entire state population is deprived of one of the great pleasures of summer: being handed a cone loaded with sprinkles and taking in a mouthful of sprinkle-coated ice cream. As I am about to do in this photo, taken a few days ago in Vermont.
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